I must be too annoying 4 u.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
