Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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