I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
