Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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