8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You left your phone here
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