you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
