this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
