Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
