I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
