that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
