so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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