so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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