This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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