he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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