so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
