Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
