Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
