I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
