i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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