I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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