I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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