Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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