i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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