is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
