Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
