if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
