My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
