I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
