TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
There's even glitter on my cock...
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