I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
