Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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