I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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