did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
