ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
