its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
