I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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