so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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