You really coming over, don't trick.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You dont lie about slip and slides
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
