What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
