Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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