If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I take back everything I said about communal showers
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
