you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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