at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
