I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
