im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
