No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
