Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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