You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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