You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
