hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
