Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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